Old School Safety
Updates from July, 2010 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
-
safetyphoto
-
safetyphoto
-
safetyphoto
-
safetyphoto
Free PowerPoint Slide Show – Funny Safety Pictures
.
.
safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes – Original jokes are copyrightWhat do you think? please leave a comment
-
safetyphoto
Myth: Children need to be wrapped in cotton wool to keep them safe
The realityHealth and safety law is often used as an excuse to stop children taking part in exciting activities, but well-managed risk is good for them. It engages their imagination, helps them learn and even teaches them to manage risks for themselves in the future. They won’t understand about risk if they’re wrapped in cotton wool.
Risk itself won’t damage children, but ill-managed and overprotective actions could!
.
safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes – Original jokes are copyrightWhat do you think? please leave a comment
-
safetyphoto
-
safetyphoto
Workstation assessment
Early workstation assessment
.
safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes – Original jokes are copyrightWhat do you think? please leave a comment
-
safetyphoto
Asprin
A man goes in for an interview for a job as a safety officer. The interview went quite well but the trouble was he kept winking and nodding his head.
The interviewer said,
“Although you have a lot of the qualities we’re looking for, the fact that you keep winking and nodding your head disqualifies you.”“Oh, that’s no problem,” said the safety man. “If I take a couple of aspirin I stop winking and nodding my head for an hour.”
“Show me,” said the interviewer.So the safety pro reached into his pocket. Embarrassingly he pulled out loads of condoms of every variety , before he found the packet of aspirin. He took the aspirin and soon stopped winking and nodding.
The interviewer said, “That’s amazing, but I don’t think we could employ someone who’d be womanising all over the country.”
“Excuse me!” exclaimed the safety pro, “I’m a happily married man, not a womaniser!”
“Well how do you explain all the condoms, then?” asked the interviewer.
The safety expert replied,
“Have you ever gone into a pharmacy, winking and nodding, and asked for a packet of aspirin?”
.
safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes – Original jokes are copyrightWhat do you think? please leave a comment
-
safetyphoto
-
safetyphoto
How to Make Duct Tape Safety Glasses:“All you’re going to need is duct tape, a hanger, a beer bottle and two plastic furniture caster cups.”
THIS IS NO SPOOF – HE IS SERIOUS!
.
.
safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes – Original jokes are copyright -
safetyphoto
Tea Room
Betty was the char lady
-
safetyphoto
Improving performance
A small business was having safety problems – 2 serious accidents and an enforcement notice from the Environmental Health Officer (EHO) ! So the Managing Director (MD) called a local safety consultant one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to improve their performance.
“Well, there is one procedure I can recommend that will reduce accidents and pacify the EHO” said the safety consultant, “but it is really rather expensive. It will cost you £10,000 down, and payments of £1000 for 36 months, plus payments for extras of course.
“My goodness!” the MD exclaimed, “that sounds like I’m buying a yacht!”
“Humm,” the safety consultant murmured, “too obvious, huh?”
.
safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes – Original jokes are copyright -
safetyphoto
Myth: Toy ‘weapons’ in a play had to be locked-up and registered with the police
The realityReports said that the theatre company were just following HSE’s guidance sheet.
HSE’s guidance is clear; it deals with real weapons and the kind of accurate replicas that can cause serious injury or be used in robberies. Not plastic toys.
We trust the play did well with all the free publicity!
.
safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes – Original jokes are copyright -
safetyphoto
http://www.jorpor.com ( จป.ดอทคอม ) –>เจ้าหน้าที่ความปลอดภัยในการทำงานระดับวิชาชีพ (จป.วิชาชีพ): “www.jorpor.com”
.
.
safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes – Original jokes are copyright -
safetyphoto
A Black and White Cartoon About Roof Tiling
“A BLACK AND WHITE CARTOON ABOUT ROOF TILING” BY DAVID FIRTH 4TH MAR ’05
.
safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes – Original jokes are copyright -
safetyphoto
-
safetyphoto
-
safetyphoto
-
safetyphoto
-
safetyphoto
-
safetyphoto
-
safetyphoto
Safety Officers Retirement Home
Three retired safety officers ages 72, 74, and 76 lived in a home together. One night the 76-year-old drew a bath. He put His foot in and paused. He yelled down the stairs “was I getting into or out of the bath?”
The 74-year-old yelled back “I don’t know. I’ll come up and see.” He started up the stairs and paused. Then He yelled, “was I going up the stairs or down?”
The 72-year-old sat at the kitchen table having tea, listening to His fellow safety ‘pros’. He shook His head sadly and said, “I sure hope I never get that forgetful.” He knocked on wood for good measure. He then yelled, “I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.”
.
safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes – Original jokes are copyright -
safetyphoto
-
safetyphoto
-
safetyphoto
-
safetyphoto
Good old days – 8 -
Rocking Horse
Britain’s tradition of rocking horse manufacture, which has its roots in knights practising their jousts, could be crippled by new European safety regulations (CENLEC). According to the new standards, “activity toys” cannot have a height from saddle to floor of more than 60cm, less than two feet. That effectively rules out all but the smallest rocking horses, say craftsmen in the cottage industry’s 60 or so firms who comprise the £35m per annum industry. (EU Weekly News – C Mobray 30/11/03 )
.
safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes – Original jokes are copyright -
safetyphoto
Dead parrot
A safety inspector bought a parrot for his office at work as no one talked to him . After two days, the inspector found his new friend laying on its back – feet pointed straight up.He called a safety consultant he knew who kept parrots, “Please help my friend,” wailed the inspector.
“I’m sorry the bird is quite dead” said the safety consultant. “No, no..it can’t be”, cried the inspector.The consultant called in his own pet, a Labrador retriever, which sniffed the bird, shook his head and walked out.
Next, the consultant called in his cat which carefully walked a circle around the bird and walked out.
“No doubt about it “, said the consultant, “That is a dead bird.”
The consultant reached for his pen and pad. He wrote out a bill and handed it to the safety inspector. “Eight Hundred pounds!?” cried the inspector.
“That’s Correct! I’m charging you for three procedures. There is my opinion, a lab report and a cat scan.”
.
safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes – Original jokes are copyright -
safetyphoto
Good old days – 5 -
THOUSANDS of farmers and other workers are to be banned from driving tractors, lorries and dumper trucks for much of the working day under an EU directive on vibrating machinery. The restrictive limits of the EU Physical Agents (Vibration) Directive were agreed in Brussels yesterday and will be published this summer. The directive was immediately condemned by the National Farmers’ Union as a “masterpiece in madness”. The NFU led opposition to the directive because it meant farmers would have been forbidden from driving a tractor for more than three to four hours a day. That limit was roughly doubled yesterday and farmers were given a five-year extension to convert existing tractors and machinery to comply with the directive. Any restriction on the time farmers can spend at the wheel of their tractors will have big cost implications, particularly at harvest time. However, the impact of the law will be even heavier on other industries. The Health and Safety Executive said yesterday that it would cost £3 billion to £4.8 billion to implement. Ben Gill, the NFU president, said: “This directive has been driven through without any scientific justification. This is the European nanny state gone mad.” Using an arcane formula to measure the “whole body vibration”, the time limit for using a chainsaw would be one and a half hours. Lorry drivers would be restricted to working for only six hours and dumper truck drivers to two hours. The time limits for using a road drill would be 47 minutes. Road haulage companies say the directive could triple operating costs. The Tories say that the limits, which are designed to prevent lower back pain, will ruin the building industry and hamper farming. They are urging the Government to block the legislation. The directive now has to be rubber-stamped by the European Parliament and the EU’s Council of Ministers. The Government will have three years to implement the regulations. (Daily Telegraph 14/03/2002(Again))
.
safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes – Original jokes are copyright -
safetyphoto
Smuggler
A Scots man comes up to the English border on his bike. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The Customs and Excise Officer stops him and says, ‘What’s in the bags?’
‘Sand,’ answered the Scots man.
The officer says, ‘We’ll just see about that. Get off the bike.’ The Customs officer takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the Scots man overnight and has the sand analysed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.The officer releases the Scot, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the Scots shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. The officer asks, ‘What have you got?’
‘Sand,’ says the Scots man.
The excise officer does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Scots man, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.
Finally, the Scots man, doesn’t show up one day and the officer meets him in a bar in Glasgow.
‘Hey, Jock,’ says the Revenue Officer, ‘I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about…I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?’
The Scots man, sips his Whiskey and says, ‘Bikes.’.
safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes – Original jokes are copyright -
safetyphoto
New site, keep an eye on this one, it’s going to be good
What a cool old photo!