Safety News
Safety Forum – Pictures for Training: “EHS Forum
The forum where EHS professionals share ideas with their colleagues
Search
advanced search
Home » Safety Discussion » Training » Pictures for Training
Help
Pictures for Training
Last post 01-09-2008, 11:33 PM by EE5410. 6 replies.”
.
.
safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes – Original jokes are copyright
The myth: All office equipment must be tested by a qualified electrician every year
The reality
No. The law requires employers to assess risks and take appropriate action.
HSE’s advice is that for most office electrical equipment, visual checks for obvious signs of damage and perhaps simple tests by a competent member of staff are quite sufficient.
safety photos
Safety photos and a few safety jokes – Original jokes are copyright
In a hospital’s Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m., regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 a.m. on Sunday.
So a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents.
The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 a.m., all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.
Just when the clock struck 11:00, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.
.
safety photos
Safety news, safety photos and a few safety jokes
HSfB Free Downloads
A theory has recently been postulated asserting the great importance of smoke to the functioning of electrical components. According to this theory, it is smoke which makes components work because every time you let smoke out of a component, it stops working!! It seems this claim has been verified through extensive field testing.
As with many great discoveries, this has eluded the great minds of our time by its very simplicity. Of course, smoke makes all things electrical work! Remember the last time smoke escaped from your power supply? Didn’t it stop working? On a system level, a wiring harness carries smoke from one device to another, and when the harness springs a leak, it lets the smoke out of everything at once, and then nothing works. Some systems require larger quantities of smoke to operate properly. That’s why the wires going to them are bigger.
Of course, there are some aspects of the theory which require further investigation. For example, one would think that persons who smoke cigarettes would be much more healthy from ingesting all that smoke. Experimental data seems to contradict that hypothesis. Perhaps smokers are actually exhaling more smoke than they inhale…
.
safety photos
Safety news, safety photos and a few safety jokes
HSfB Free Downloads
How many nebosh tutors does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.
How many architects does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he has to coordinate ten other professionals who are doing this very complicated task.
How many safety engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. safety engineers do not change light bulbs; they search for the root cause as to why the last one went out.
How many nebosh students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That’s a diploma subject.
How many diploma 1 students does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but the rest of the class copies the report.
How many diploma 2 students does it take to change a light bulb?
“Will this question be in the final examination?”
How many Msc students does it take to change a light bulb?
“10,000 words latter I’ll have to do more research and resubmit?”
How many environment students does it take to change a light bulb?
Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
Under normal public purchasing conditions, how many civil servants does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the light bulb. One to hold the ladder (for health and safety!)
Under PFI:
One Privatised off shoot employee to change the bulb. Another to hold the ladder and a third to replace the temp who was holding the ladder but who has now got a permanent job elsewhere. Five light bulb changing consultants to develop a business case for changing said bulb and four more (from a different consultancy) to independently evaluate the first lots bid. Plus two separate teams of lawyers to make sure everything’s OK for both public and private perspectives.
~
How many Safety Managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Fifty-Four.
8 to argue
1 to get a continuance
1 to object
1 to demur
2 to research precedents,
1 to dictate a letter
1 to stipulate
5 to turn in their time cards
1 to depose
1 to write interrogatories
2 to settle
1 to order a secretary to change the bulb, and
28 to bill for professional services
.
safety photos
Safety news, safety photos and a few safety jokes
HSfB Free Downloads
